When Stuff Happens: How to Keep Writing When Life Throws a Curve ball

On a Personal Note

I haven't posted on here since Friday because I received some rotten news about a friend and haven't felt much like writing, or in fact doing anything, for days.

I spent most of Monday visiting my friend at the hospice and most of yesterday and this morning mooching around in a miserable frame of mind, not being able to settle to anything, before reading the Dabbling Mum's Business E-zine. DM had listed "10 Top Tips For Writing A Super-Responsive E-zine." I have been thinking about starting a couple of e-zines/newsletters and it made me think ... while it's ok to curl up on the grass at the side of the road now and then, journeys only happen when we're moving.

It made me realise I could share this with you and offer some tips to try when dealing with your own curve balls in life.

Small Steps

I realised I have to do something, I have to keep moving forward, even if it's only baby steps for a while. I looked through my To Do List and decided on one thing to do for my article every day for the rest of this week, besides writing a post every day on here. Everything else will be simmering on the back burner for a while.

So I made a phone call. To someone who had replied to an email from me about the blue bin scheme. He wasn't in so I left a brief message and sent another email with a brief outline of my article. And it made me feel better that I had done something, one small something.

Feeling a little better made me want to do more ...

Doing Just One Thing

A lesson my Mum taught me was: Do just one thing.

We often feel overwhelmed by things and the more overwhelming things get, the less we do, the more things become overwhelming.

But if we can do just one small thing, it has a positive effect in so many ways:

We have done something practical, meaning one less thing to do

We feel good about something we have done, which is a nice feeling so will make us want to do more

We have changed an "I can't" into an "I can" which makes us feel more positive about our abilities and so raises our aspirations and our expectations for the future

Sometimes doing just one thing can trigger an avalanche of doing things.

Flexible Priorities: Redirecting Energies

Stuff happens ... sometimes it's wonderful stuff, sometimes it's truly horrid. But life is like that, it throws a curve ball sometimes and we have to be flexible and make changes to priorities, while never losing sight of our goals.

For the next few weeks, I will be spending more time with my friend and have less to spread around elsewhere. My friend and her family (and my girls) are my main priority at the moment, but she would be horrified if this meant I gave up on priorities I already have.

She has always encouraged me to be a writer and has always found my "I will do, one day" reply thoroughly frustrating! She is excited about all the writing recently and amazed at my new-found ability to set proper goals and work towards them logically.

Reviewing Goals

So I've amended my goals for April. I realise now that I had set the bar just a little too high. Writing four articles as a total beginner might have been feasible if life had been perfect ... but assuming it would be, was a bit silly!

So, instead of submitting four articles (one every week) I'll write two, and I'll submit them by the end of the month.

The second will be about International Women's Day, which was started almost 100 years ago, but about which it seems little is generally known.

Combining Goals

In response to the lack of information we could find, Aliqot and I have started a communal blog, Towards 2011, which we hope will become a conversation, a way for women around the world to share their experiences of being women (though this is not to exclude men, a male friend of mine is writing something about working in the care profession.)

Plus we hope to promote the centenary of IWD as a way to celebrate the women who began it all, with huge sacrifices in very difficult times. And who knows? If it takes off, perhaps we will be able to do something to support vulnerable women around the world, by arranging practical help or by fundraising.

As I research and write the article, I will have information I can use for posts on the blog.

Positive Thinking

I am known for being able to put a positive spin on almost anything, but even I can't see anything positive in my friend's situation. But seeing the positive way in which she and her family are dealing with it all is thoroughly inspiring.

Writing an article about amazing women feels like such a positive thing to do at the moment. A way of celebrating my wonderful friend. A way of letting her know in writing how much I have always appreciated, will always appreciate, her.

When I submit it for publishing, I will ask if it can be dedicated to her.

:o)